In a funk

        I am not sure what my deal is today, but I am in it. I am tired, overwhelmed, sad, and hopeless. I don't even like typing that.

        The day was really very normal- a typical school day, the gym, and then home. Well, a run to the wine and liquor outlet may have been in there as well. I bought half a case. Ooops.

        So let's sum up the past few months.... I decide Jeff 1 (yes, Jeff 1....keep reading) isn't right because he doesn't make a lot of time for me and we're not on the same page faithwise. I tell him my thoughts, he says let's talk when I get back from vacay, but didn't mean it.

        Meanwhile, Jeff 2 enters the scene. He's great. A gentleman, a man of faith, a family guy, sweet, sensitive, romantic. Where's the catch? I am just not feeling it. Why does this always happen? I like the ones who don't make time for me. The great ones don't interest me. Eff word. Because seriously, he's so great. And the package deal he is part of is amazing. Why can't I? Why don't I feel it?

         Some have suggested it's because of what happened with Nick just over a year ago and that I have to give it time. I just don't know what to do or feel anymore. This is where friends have said- you don't need to do anything except keep living. And when the timing is right, someone will walk into your life way better than anyone you could've imagined. I guess I have trouble believing that because my mom always wanted that and it didn't happen for her. The longer you're single the more independent you become, and the more picky. It's not looking good.